I get a lot of critical feedback from my boss and I don't always know what to do with it or how to improve. Sometimes I don't even agree with the feedback. What should I do when I don't think the feedback is correct?

The topic of 'feedback' is a passionate one with many people. For me, feedback is fuel, but at the same time it needs to be actionable and agreed upon for it to be that 'fuel' for change/innovation. My advice for if you don't understand, or agree with, the feedback you're receiving would be to start with checking your understanding with the individual providing the feedback. Just like in a customer/prospect discovery call, you can start off by summarizing your understanding of the feedback. This will give you the opportunity to validate your understanding of what you have heard and it will prove helpful to ensure you are both on the same page. Also, don't be afraid to be honest - tell your boss that you are committed to improving, but you want to be sure you know what to focus on, and you need to better understand what is being asked of you. This will allow you both to agree on the steps required to set up a course of action. Finally, if you are confused with the feedback, or not in agreement with what has been presented back to you, ask for clarification through specific examples. In my experience this helps to unpack the feedback and clarify what you've heard.

Listen to the feedback that your boss might give you - even if you don't agree. Take a deep breath or go for a run. Don't push back on the feedback, move forward to improve it and document where you're getting better for visibility into an issue that might have happened in the past. It's also important to have a mini "board of directors" that aren't at your organization that you can call up and vent to. Without knowing the inner workings of your company, direct reports, or boss - they can provide helpful directional feedback that they've seen in the past.

Receiving critical feedback, especially when you don’t agree with it, can be challenging. However, how you handle it can determine your growth and relationship with your boss. Here’s a step-by-step guide to approach such situations:

1. Stay Calm and Open-Minded

• Listen Actively: Even if you don’t agree, listen carefully to the feedback without interrupting. Try to understand the perspective behind the criticism. Often, emotions can cloud how feedback is received, so remaining calm helps you process the information more clearly.

• Separate Emotion from Content: Feedback can feel personal, but it’s important to separate your emotions from the critique. Focus on the substance of what’s being said rather than how it makes you feel.

2. Ask Clarifying Questions

• If you’re unsure about certain points or don’t fully understand the feedback, ask for clarification. For example:

• “Can you give me a specific example of when you observed this behavior?”

• “What would success look like in this area for you?”

• By seeking clarity, you can ensure you fully understand what your boss is pointing out and how they’d like you to improve.

3. Reflect on the Feedback

• Objectively Assess: Before dismissing the feedback, take time to reflect on it objectively. Ask yourself:

• Is there any truth to this feedback, even if I don’t fully agree?

• Could this be a recurring theme I’ve heard before from others?

• Is there an opportunity for growth here, even if the feedback wasn’t delivered in the way I’d prefer?

• Talk to a Trusted Peer: Sometimes, seeking an outside perspective from a trusted colleague or mentor can help you see if there’s validity to the feedback.

4. Engage in a Constructive Discussion

• Frame Your Response Thoughtfully: If you still don’t agree with the feedback, approach your boss with a respectful and constructive attitude. Acknowledge their perspective while sharing your viewpoint. For example:

• “I understand your concern, but I believe in this case, my approach helped achieve X result. Could we discuss what you would have preferred in that situation?”

• Be Solution-Oriented: Rather than arguing, focus on finding solutions or alternatives. You can say, “I’d like to understand how we can bridge this gap moving forward. What specific steps do you suggest I take?”

5. Provide Evidence or Context if Needed

• If you believe the feedback doesn’t reflect the full picture, provide data, context, or examples that support your perspective. For example:

• “I see where you’re coming from, but here’s some additional context you might not be aware of.”

• Be factual and avoid sounding defensive. This helps build a constructive dialogue instead of making the conversation adversarial.

6. Create an Action Plan

• Agree on Specific Next Steps: Whether or not you agree with the feedback, it’s essential to create an action plan that addresses your boss’s concerns. Ask for specific, measurable outcomes they want to see and agree on a timeline for improvement.

• Set Milestones: Break down the feedback into actionable steps and request regular check-ins to ensure you’re on the right track.

7. Know When to Let Go

• Not all feedback will be 100% accurate or fair. If, after careful consideration, you still believe the feedback is off base, you may need to respectfully move on without dwelling on it. Focus on the areas you can control and improve, and don’t let one piece of feedback derail your overall progress.

8. Strengthen Your Relationship with Your Boss

• Show Initiative: Demonstrate that you’re willing to grow by seeking additional feedback over time, showing proactive efforts to improve, and regularly discussing your progress with your boss.

• Build Trust: The more open and professional you are about handling feedback, even when you disagree, the more trust you build with your boss. This can lead to more balanced and constructive feedback in the future.

Conclusion:

When you receive critical feedback that you don’t agree with, the key is to stay open-minded, seek clarity, and engage in constructive dialogue. Even if you don’t fully agree, reflecting on the feedback and addressing your boss’s concerns professionally will show that you are committed to growth and improvement