Can you give an example of an effective internal & external feedback loop/system to refine messaging?
For sure, you need reliable feedback loops to refine your messaging. It shouldn't be a set and forget, but it also shouldn't be a complete rewrite each time. The internal/external messaging feedback sources I use are:
Internal Feedback:
Talk to Sales & CS. What's clicking with customers? What objections keep coming up?
Win/Loss Analysis. Why are deals closing (or not)? Any common themes?
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Competitive Intel. How do competitors position themselves? If they start sounding like you, you're onto something.
Note: Don't react too quickly and change your messaging because your biggest competitor is saying something you're not. Most teams are trying to figure it out as well. But put yourself in your buyer's mindset to figure out why your competitor is using something in their messaging.
External Feedback:
Customer Interviews & Surveys. Interview your customers for a case study. Listen to the challenges they faced prior to using your solution. Ask what their criteria were when looking for a solution and why they picked yours. Ask what the benefits are. After enough interviews, you'll see patterns. As the market and your solution evolve, those patterns and themes will evolve, too, so keep an eye out for those shifts—that's an indicator that you may need to revisit your messaging.
A/B Testing. Test different headlines, emails, and ads. What actually gets clicks and conversions? This is one of my favorite feedback loops. You'll know if you're targeting the right ICP with the right messaging.
Social Listening. How are people talking about your product online? Are they using a different language than you?
Website & SEO Data. What search terms bring people in? Where do they drop off?

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