How do you go about resolving conflict between team members?

This is a great question, and one that likely doesn't have one right answer. It likely depends on the context, however there are a few rules I like to live by when addressing conflict.

1. Quickly set up time with the involved individuals to talk face to face / in-person. There is a lot that can get misconstrued in emails and slacks, so meeting in person can help to reduce any confusion. The faster the parties address the issue, the more likely it is that it can be resolved before it escalates into something bigger.
2. Practice active listening. People often want to feel heard, and understood. They want to know their feelings are valid, so let involved parties express themselves, and feel heard.

3. Identify the root. What is the real problem or issue at hand. Is it what it appears to be on the surface, or is there something deeper there that needs to be discussed.
4. Work together towards a solution. You can help involved parties by suggesting solutions for a resolution, and how to avoid these conflicts in the future - but encourage the involved parties to suggest and find solutions themselves as well.
5. Follow-up. Check in after some time to ensure that the problem is truly resolved and involved parties have moved on.

To resolve conflict between team members, I would first begin by grounding everyone in shared principles, focusing on the common goals and priorities that all parties agree upon. This helps to establish a foundation for constructive dialogue.

Next, seek to understand the root cause of the conflict by considering the perspectives of all parties involved. Identify any assumptions or pieces of information that may differ between the conflicting sides. Bring these differences to light and discuss them openly to uncover the reasons behind the conflict, while exploring potential resolutions.

It’s common for conflicting parties to become fixated on their own proposed solutions. Encourage everyone to think beyond the options currently on the table and consider creative, out-of-the-box solutions that might satisfy both sides.

If, after thorough discussion, the conflict remains unresolved, it’s okay to agree to disagree and move forward with a decision, even if one side isn’t fully convinced. When choosing a solution, clearly explain why it was selected and establish a way to test its effectiveness. Define key performance indicators and set a timeframe for evaluating whether the decision was the right one.

From there, ensure accountability by revisiting the chosen solution over time. If it becomes clear that the original approach isn’t yielding the expected results, be open to pivoting and exploring alternatives.

By following this approach, you can create a more objective process for resolving disagreements, allowing both sides to discuss and test solutions that align with the best interests of the team and the organization.

Conflicts become entrenched when what was a simple, solvable problem, starts sweeping up other issues to become a messy amorphous thing. So many times with team members have come to me with an issue that is really a half dozen issues tracing back months. Conflict resolution in those cases really comes down to untangling all the bad feelings back to tangible conflicts. So that's where I start. Doing this requires tabling some parts of the conflict temporarily to work on one thing at a time. Most work conflicts come down to one of a few different sources: Situational causes (two people accidentally given the same job, or with goals that are opposing), Communication causes (someone not respecting how or when the other person wants to be talked with), performace causes (someone not delivering what they said they would). The trick is to unpack which it is and then find a way that everyone can adjust to address it.